Getting diagnosed: We never thought he had autism

When our son was little, he was invited to parties. Kids seemed to like him. We had big dreams about how smart, kind and well liked he'd be.

Life slowly turned cruel. Problems at school developed, and those party invited trickled to nil. We were devastated and confused. What happened to our "champ"?

We would finally get an Asperger's syndrome diagnosis just as he turned 11. We felt terrible for not seeing it sooner, though our journey to figure out why he behaved and learned differently did begin at age 7 when school turned into a mess. I'll share more in another blog.

Why couldn't I see it? Why would I see it? He was my first born and everything he did was amazing. And when something seemed off, I called or visited my pediatrician who assured us OFTEN that he was fine.

We never noticed anything out of the ordinary about his behavior when he was little, though a preschool teacher did once say he was immature. She also told us that she believed immature boys should start Kindergarten at age six to give them time to catch up socially. In no way did we think this comment meant anything was developmentally wrong. Sure, he had a tantrum from time to time, but we'd seen much worse.

No one ever mentioned autism those early years. We didn't think it. Our only real concern was speech. Our pediatrician assured us that some kids were slower and he'd catch up.

Indeed, he seemed to develop normally with the exception of his speech. With walking, he was a bit behind, but still in the "normal" range. And yes, he was a bit shy compared to other boys. Sensitive. Nothing wrong with that, we told ourselves.

In hindsight, we were blind to many signs. But our reality never considered autism. We didn't know about Asperger's syndrome. I don't recall reading about it in parenting magazines or books. It wasn't the hot topic it seems to be today.

Lunch with a friend who was raising a severely autistic child changed everything. As I spoke of the problems my son was having at school and the judgments that I seemed to get from teachers, she stopped me. That's the first time I heard of Asperger's syndrome. It changed my life.