Road to discovery, part 1

Everything seemed normal to us in those baby and toddler years. The first bit of concern came only after moving. My son, 4 1/2 at the time, who never complained about me leaving him at daycare suddenly cried when I left. That separation anxiety waned. But as he hit preschool, I was warned that he seemed too immature for school. Teachers want well-behaved kids. I wanted to roll my eyes.

Kindergarten seemed generally fine, though the transition to a new school was a bit rough. By first grade, he fell behind in reading and more behavioral issues surfaced. We insisted that these problems were related to his speech delay and frustration with it. Things surely had to get better now that he received speech therapy. Besides, he seemed fine at home. Problems persisted, so his teacher encouraged us to have him repeat first grade. He needed time to develop reading skills otherwise school would become more frustrating. Our school boundaries changed. No one would know. We reluctantly said yes. I suspect that we really had no choice.

First grade the second time went generally well. He made friends, got invited to parties and received good grades. But in second grade, our son's teacher told us we needed to make our son focus more on school, behave better and make him participate in class. Ugh! It was obvious to her that he had ADHD (attention deficit hyperactive disorder) and medication could help. I sensed she thought that we were less than adequate parents for not doing something about it. I fumed inside. I hoped we would get some tips from her to help our son with homework, which took hours to complete. We didn't know how to cope.

Our pediatrician didn't want to medicate him without ruling out a learning disability. The signs are similar to ADHD, she said. We got him tested at school, where we learned he had two learning disabilities affecting his reading skills. We also finally saw a psychologist, hoping to rule out ADHD. He said our son had mild ADD (attention deficit disorder), or as they were now calling it ADHD-inattentive.

He was a daydreamer. I agree. His focus wasn’t ideal. But he wasn't hyper. If we could treat him, maybe his schoolwork would improve. We just weren't sure about going with medication, so we considered dietary changes. Less sugar and preservatives. More veggies and fruit. About that time, a friend suggested that I read up on Asperger's syndrome.