Training needed to build understanding

Autism is a different experience for every parent dealing with it. Sure, there are similarities, but the spectrum is broad. Our burden as parents will always vary because of socioeconomics, culture and beliefs. Our circumstances will be different. Our support systems may not be as solid as the next parent. But I believe most of us try to do what’s best for our kids.

How our kids on the spectrum interact with others also will vary. I think a lot of that has to do with how we prepare our kids, but also how others — teachers, students, coworkers, service providers, etc. — prepare to deal with others who aren’t like them. Of course, I wish everyone got a course on the autism spectrum. Given the recent numbers from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention indicating as many as 1 in 88 children have an autism spectrum disorder, shouldn’t we at least pay attention?

While I wish more families took time to understand it and teach their children to be kind to others with differences, I really wish school districts would take a lead training teachers and encouraging inclusiveness. I guess what I hope is if teachers stand up for our kids  on the spectrum — who often are teased for being different or excluded because others don’t know how to deal with their quirky behavior — then others would follow.

I’ve not done extensive research on how much time and money is spent on autism training at schools. I just know my experience. When I’ve brought up the idea of additional training or strategies related to my son with teachers, I’ve mostly gotten resistance via a perceived bad attitude or the “I know/do that.” Really? I wouldn’t have brought it up, I think. I suppose they think that I’m challenging their abilities. I just want the best for my child and others like him. You don’t get change if you don’t ask for it.

I’ve thought maybe I’m taking this too personally. So I’ve gone on some website to see how others feel about training. The most negative opinions have come from self-professed teachers. Maybe they’re the vocal exception. I hope! But many of the teachers who responded to my posts have said they didn’t get into teaching to deal with special ed kids and that they’re frustrated so many are in regular classrooms. I find that sad and disturbing. Not every child will be a model student. And so my wish for training…

A teacher makes a world of difference

I had lost my faith in teachers when my son hit second grade. My faith then hit a new low as he entered junior high, when a former teacher truly disappointed me.

I hated that no one knew how to help my son, and no one seemed to care. Time and time again, I’d feel lost, helpless. The break-room gossip, I supposed, had to be how undisciplined we were as parents. It was so far from reality.

Some were kinder than others, but I felt as though no one wanted to inspire my son to learn. All they wanted was for me to medicate him or get them out of their class. Some pitied us. They were the nice ones. A few I call plain ignorant, and really, I feel sorry for them.

One – a supposed born-again Christian – was the worst. And we had her twice! She appeared so two-faced to me. The saccharine dripped from her lips, but it would soon turn to venom when it came to our IEPs. I knew deep down this teacher held a grudge for something my Aspie didn’t filter. The feeling was confirmed by the mommy gossip chain. Talking about me when others could overhear! Seriously, is this woman still in junior high? I wanted to leave a card on her desk with WWJD on it.

At least I finally met one teacher who would get my son and really inspire him to try hard in the subjects that gave him trouble: reading and writing. I have to say if she didn’t appear when she did, I don’t know how I would survive the daily challenges of elementary school. She was amazing. I plan a blog praising her later.

As he gets older, I’m finding a few his teachers have had Aspies in their class or in the family. This has been good for my son because they view him more compassionately and they are more willing to try alternative ways of teaching him. Wish they were the rule, not the exception.